Seven Factors to Consider When Choosing a Guardian for Your Child

Although it isn’t easy to think about, choosing a guardian for your child is one of the most important decisions a parent can make. Determining the best person to care for your child, discussing your wishes with that person or persons, then putting a legal plan in writing is the best way to protect your child, should tragedy occur.

Legally naming a guardian for your child(ren) helps ensure the court will follow your wishes for who raises them. This step is important for single and coupled parents alike. While most assume a spouse or partner will be the caretaker of shared children, you should also be prepared in the event you both die together, like in a car accident. 

Rather than avoiding the situation, consider your decisions a gift to your child(ren). As estate lawyers, we work with social workers, family lawyers, and families themselves who have been affected by a sudden loss of parents. We agree that taking proper legal action now can save your family time, expense and additional heartache in the event of a tragedy. It is also vital to revisit your plan as your child grows, you have more children or the guardian’s situation changes. 

Working with hundreds of families in estate planning, including creating a will and naming a guardian, as well as estate settlement, we’ve put together seven factors to consider when choosing a guardian for your child: 

1. Age 

It may seem ideal to choose a set of grandparents as guardians, it is important to consider  their age and health, especially in relation to your child’s age. While the arrangement may make sense now, think about your toddler as a high school student. How old will your parents be? 

If you still feel strongly that grandparents are the best option, consider naming a backup guardian, should they pass away or become unable to care for your child.

Age may also be a factor if you want to designate a younger sibling as guardian. A recent college graduate, for instance, may not have the means or maturity to care for young children. Again, naming a backup guardian or indicating specific timeframes can help ensure your children are well cared for.

2. Your Child’s Input

Depending on the age of your child, consider asking their preference about a guardian. Or, just discuss who they feel most comfortable with.  It is important to know that if a child is between 12-17 years old, the court will generally ask for input about who will care for them. A court may also have a guardian-ad-litem, or an attorney assigned to the child to gain such input. 

Asking your child and putting your guardian in writing can prevent delays and ensure the best choice for your child. Explaining your decision and involving your child(ren) may also provide peace of mind for your child(ren), who can feel secure knowing who will care for them if something happens to you. Again, it is important to revisit your choices as a child grows and family relationships change. 

3. Financial Stability

As a parent, you want to be sure the person taking care of your child is financially stable. While a child’s comfort level is important, you do not want to create a financial burden for a guardian. Working with an estate lawyer, there are steps you can put in writing to provide financial support to the guardian(s).

It is equally important that a guardian is financially responsible. Because the guardian(s) will  likely collect any death benefits, if your primary beneficiary is unable, you should feel confident your guardian(s) will honestly and competently handle the financial responsibility of providing for your child(ren). 

4. Location 

While tough to think about, in the event of your death, your child would endure a difficult time, mentally and emotionally. Adding another major change, such as moving to a different state, switching schools, and leaving friends and activities, is not recommended for school-age children and teens. This is less of a concern for babies and toddlers, so you may consider outlining different guardian scenarios, depending on the age of your child(ren).

5. Trustworthiness 

A guardian becomes fully responsible for raising your child in the event of your passing. Be sure the person is someone you fully trust with your child’s life. This includes their emotional development, education and financial wellbeing. If you have any concerns about the potential guardian’s character or past decisions, they may not be the best fit. 

6. Values 

Similar to above, it is important you share similar values with your chosen guardian. This can apply to parenting style, life goals, religion, morals, politics or education.  While easy to overlook, these values are central to how you want your child raised. In some cases, it makes sense to discuss your values with a potential guardian (and any partner they are living with), before making a final decision. Shared values will also make it easier for your child to adjust to living with the guardian.

7. Permission

You may think someone is perfect for being your child’s guardian and believe they would take on the role no matter what. However, as estate lawyers, we have seen family situations where a guardian is caught off-guard and unwilling to take on the responsibility. 

That is why we encourage parents to have an open, honest discussion with the potential guardian(s). Explain why you are asking and offer time to consider whether to accept the responsibility. Your conversation should include expectations, values, responsibilities, and whatever else you feel is essential to know about your wishes. We especially encourage parents of children with special needs to have this discussion before naming a legal guardian. 

When choosing a guardian for your child, we advise clients to speak with their partner, child(ren), trusted family members and the potential guardian(s) before making a decision. Using the seven factors outlined above, make a list of any questions. If you have legal concerns or feel ready to name a guardian, contact us to get started. 

We know it can be difficult to think about someone caring for your child(ren) in the event of your death, but naming a guardian is like buying insurance or putting money away in an emergency fund. You are planning for a worst case scenario. And as a parent, you should decide who cares for your children. Don’t leave it up to others. While most guardians will never be needed, similar to a creating a will, having the legal document in place helps ensure your wishes are followed, while providing protection and peace of mind for your family.